is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
