How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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