One girl and one boy is just not enough.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
