Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
