I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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