1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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