And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Watching her eat just hurts me
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
