He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
