just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
