If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
