They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
