I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
