Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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