Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
