Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
