She is in my trunk
Pants 0. Shit 1.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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