I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
