Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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