this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
