do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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