Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
