woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
