Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
