Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
