Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
