Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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