i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
