worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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