I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
