Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is my gift to your gina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Drunk is not a location!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
