go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
