we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you had me at cake vodka
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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