The maid of honor just puked.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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