I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
