She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
