just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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