my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
