check it out our google latitudes are spooning
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
