we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
