The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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