I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
