Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
