STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
