none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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