i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
