There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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