I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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