dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
