i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
