Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
