We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
