Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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