tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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