If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
