It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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