ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Green mimosas i think yes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
