I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize