I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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