"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize