Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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